<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Nevermind by quadruple</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160186">Nevermind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/quadruple/pseuds/quadruple'>quadruple</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A3! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Jealousy, M/M, Slow Romance, omi was there too but yeah, this is a more serious fight but not physical</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:40:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,467</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160186</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/quadruple/pseuds/quadruple</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Banri feels insecure about Juza’s growing popularity and their relationship, leading them to a potential fallout.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hyoudou Juuza/Settsu Banri</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nevermind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Banri saw him again that day with those girls flocking around him like butterflies.</p><p>Juza didn’t really notice much that he was quite popular. He didn’t even expect it at all, but that was what he’d probably get being a part of Mankai Company. Through his credentials, he slowly began garnering more attention towards him, especially of the girls—a lot of them from his university. It was the kind of attention he never thought would have, but at least it wasn’t so bad.</p><p>Whenever he was around the campus area, some of these girls would whisper to one another once they saw him passing by. Their faces shunned away in embarrassment when he accidentally made an eye contact with them, rather than contempt. Some even tried to get him to notice—at least one or two would say “hi” or “good day” when they passed by him, to which he tried to return their greetings politely. He recognized a few faces, but many of which he had no idea.</p><p>Sure, it wasn’t just a matter of face-to-face interactions—sometimes, he’d receive anonymous letters, notes, even gifts. He couldn’t help but wonder as he questioned himself if he actually deserved the overpouring appreciation, even when the Director told him that those were proofs that his hard work paid off.</p><p>The whole experience felt bizarre to him.</p><p>Meanwhile, Banri, who had been very familiar of being popular among girls, was not so happy of Juza’s budding fame.</p><p>No, not that he was jealous of being overtaken by him. At least, he still got more SNS responses, letters, and gifts than him. He was still well-recognized among many, even among guys, with less tainted kind of attention. He knew that he had more appeal to give and he knew how to use it well to his advantage.</p><p>But not with Juza.</p><p>It was a ludicrous thought, considering how Banri had been in a relationship with Juza for months at that time, yet his mind repeatedly conjured these demons who threw him all these what-ifs that came out of nowhere. He could hear tone of their voices suggesting him; calm yet eerily convincing.</p><p>‘<em>Hyodo only agreed to be with you only because he felt sorry and indebted towards you. </em></p><p>
  <em>Hyodo could have been with a pretty, two-goody shoe girl who would have treated him well, lovingly and affectionate like couples in romances.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe, Hyodo already even had had feelings for a certain girl in his mind which could have led him into a better love story rather than having to throw it all away for some guy who had been messing around with him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t you wonder what kind of girl would have attracted him? Any of those cute fans of his would do. They would have made a perfect picture together, unlike you. No matter how nice or attractive you can be, you’d never fit in. You’d never become a part of his future—eventually, he’d have his happy ending with a wife and a kid or two.</em>
</p><p><em>Admit it, Settsu Banri. It will all be over for you.</em>’</p><p>He tried to fend them off, but they kept coming back.</p><p>Those words usurped him deeper onto his consciousness every time Juza came back to the dorms with gifts, every moment he watched those girls smiling at him when they walked side by side, and every comment his fans made in his SNS accounts when he had the chance to briefly lurk at his interactions.</p><p>Those words felt like blades repeatedly stabbing through him, with each thought felt like a stake being pulled away forcefully from him until he was pierced all over again.</p><p>“Looks like someone’s been enjoying his newfound fame and all that crap.”</p><p>Banri muttered to himself when he glanced over at Juza at the other end of the room.</p><p>“Huh? What was that just now?”</p><p>Unfortunately, Juza heard him saying things under his breath, loud and clear. He somehow knew that it wasn’t just some kind of a grunt that he could easily ignore like usual. “You got a problem or something?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Banri shrugged, trying to suppress his budding emotions. “Just wondering what were those chicks doing to you earlier.”</p><p>“They didn’t do anything, just happened to be around when I was there. Not that I care about them either.”</p><p>Banri would like to believe him. His inner demons pushed him to question further, but he didn’t want to give in.</p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>Weird.</p><p>‘Why would Settsu care about those girls,’ Juza thought. He was in a relationship with him and he knew that in terms of popularity among women, Banri would win over him by a large margin at any day. Was that just a way for Banri to ridicule him for having an appeal towards women, regardless their relationship?</p><p>“What’s gotten into you?”</p><p>“Nothing, really. You must be really happy about it, since no one wanted to even approach you back in high school.”</p><p>Juza grunted disapprovingly. “I told you, I don’t give a damn about it. Aren’t you the one who likes to be surrounded by girls?”</p><p>“You know that I have always been flocked around by girls. I’m only just getting used to their attention.”</p><p>Banri expected Juza would say something, but there was no reply coming from him. Banri knew he just wanted to put the matter at rest yet he wasn’t satisfied. Then again, it slowly started to get onto his mind.</p><p>“Among those girls… does any of them happen to be your type?”</p><p>“None.”</p><p>“Not one?”</p><p>“No. Why do you keep asking me about them, anyways?”</p><p>Banri could hear agitation surfacing from his words. “Well, who knows there might be a girl you wanted to be with before you got stuck with me,” he said, almost mumbling to himself.</p><p>“There is no girl. I’m telling the truth. I only want to be with you.”</p><p>“If I had never told you that I liked you, maybe you never even wanted to be with me.”</p><p>Juza eventually knew where their conversation was going. He didn’t realize that Banri would be <em>that </em>riled up over some girls (specifically fangirls). Then again, was being together not enough for them to hold on? He could count on Banri to trust him, but couldn’t Banri do the same?</p><p>“Settsu, what is wrong with you?”</p><p>He approached him, grabbing him by the arm as he stared piercingly towards him, demanding for an explanation. “I don’t get what you’re saying. What do you want from me?”</p><p>“Just be honest with me, Hyodo. Isn’t that right?”</p><p>A long silence stretched between them.</p><p>He felt cornered, driven to compromise or sacrifice.</p><p>It was true that Banri was the first to eventually tell him that he had feelings for him (though it was only for the fact that Juza found out about it before from Itaru), yet he was the one who asked Banri to be in a relationship with him. After Banri confessed, Juza admitted that he didn’t hate him while hoping that as their relationship progressed, he’d eventually grow feelings for him as well. Months had passed and Juza realized that his fondness grew towards him from time to time.</p><p>He liked him—possibly more than that, but he wasn’t so sure about that lately.</p><p>“Goddamnit, Hyodo, fucking answer me!”</p><p>He didn’t know what to answer him, but eventually he had to.</p><p>“I… I don’t know.”</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>“Haha. What the fuck was that.”</p><p>A faint sobbing was soon heard.</p><p>Tears visibly emerged from Banri’s eyes, filled with distraught and sadness. The pain in his face made Juza completely taken aback—he never realized that he had meant so much to him. Banri quickly yanked his arm off of Juza’s grip before storming off from his sight.</p><p>“Settsu, where are you going?!”</p><p>“DON’T FUCKING FOLLOW ME!”</p><p>He ran out the building, going towards nowhere in particular. He went wherever his feet could take him, just as long as nobody, especially Juza, would try to find him. He could hear Juza calling out to him several times, but he didn’t want to listen as he let his heart slowly break into pieces. Meanwhile, Juza tried to catch up to him, but Banri was so fast that he could barely reach him.</p><p>Eventually, after running here and there within a few more miles from where they had been, Juza gave up.</p><p>He decided to wait for Banri to return to their room. He had a feeling that Banri wouldn’t go too far, hoping that he’d come back with no harm whatsoever.</p><p>*</p><p>Omi noticed that Juza had gone to the fridge for the third time.</p><p>Some hours ago, he heard them bickering, thinking it was just the usual banter they always had. That was on top his mind until he heard noises of rapid footsteps before the front door was slammed shut. Nothing else subsequently followed, so he thought that everything was alright in 104.</p><p>It seemed to be that way, until he observed the look upon Juza’s face—he was more upset, in a way that concerned him.</p><p>“It’s getting late.”</p><p>The younger flinched when Omi suddenly was already standing behind him, thinking that he might have already left him back to his room. Juza himself just happened to hang around at the dining room for a bit, trying to salvage through his fourth cup of pudding—strawberry flavored this time around. The top custard layer was still lingering in his mouth; he needed the sweet aftertaste to mend him from listening to the ticking sound of the clock.</p><p>Banri still hadn’t come back.</p><p>“Do you want me to make you anything? Or you probably need a company?”</p><p> Juza shook his head quietly. “No need to, Omi-san. Thank you.”</p><p>There was a hint of sullenness from the way he replied him.</p><p>So Omi’s hunch was right—something was going on between them, and it was not a good sign. He wanted to do more to help Juza out, but he didn’t want to be intrusive. At least, he could trust Juza’s capabilities to solve the problem between him and Banri, but that didn’t stop him from showing that he cared for his emotional well-being.</p><p>“You know that you could use some help if you need from me when you want to, right?” Omi told him, his hand over the other’s shoulder. “Don’t take it too much on your own.”</p><p>“… Yeah.”</p><p>Quiet footsteps were heard through the stairs until it faded away, leaving Juza all to himself again as silence continued to reign over him.</p><p>*</p><p>He had already finished the last bite of his meal, yet the pain still didn’t sink away along with his hunger.</p><p>After running for God knows how long, Banri made a detour to the nearest convenience store, initially to take a rest for a while. Luckily, he got some money that just happened to be in his pocket, so he bought himself a box of microwaved meal and a small bottled coffee before taking a seat at one of the empty chairs available.</p><p>There was no one but him and the store employee. He remained quiet, only accompanied by the sounds of the air conditioner above him. He did notice the employee had been eyeing him in his guard sometimes, but maybe he had been used to occasionally having company at late night without having to question things.</p><p>Banri had been thinking whether he should come back or not.</p><p>It wasn’t really a matter of what, more of a when. He would come back for sure—that old man Sakyo would have beaten him into pulp if he hadn’t returned by daylight, especially over something as foolish as a relationship problem. Maybe he would have taken out his handcuffs again and chained him and Juza for the remainder of the week, which he wasn’t so fond about even if they were in a relationship.</p><p>
  <em>Hyodo must have been worried. But would he even be worried of me, genuinely?</em>
</p><p>He groaned at the thought.</p><p>Those fucking demons were trying to get a kick out of him. No, he shouldn’t have let them get him—what was he thinking, going out in the middle of the night only to starve and eventually satiate himself in a convenience store for how many goddamned miles he had taken from the dorms?</p><p>He hated himself.</p><p>But maybe, he kind of needed it.</p><p>He recalled how the first few months of his relationship with Juza was mostly of a trial-and-error. They were just trying to figure out things—the fighting still went on, but slowly they incorporated hand holding, sleeping next to each other in one’s bed, kissing… until everything began to feel very real.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>“Settsu…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Juza was shoved away when he tried to approach Banri, who immediately took a distance from him. “Just stay away from me! You don’t have to give a shit about me anymore.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do you want to break up with me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s not like that… You’ve done enough, Hyodo. I’m fine.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But I still want us to keep going, Settsu.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Banri scoffed. “Why would you want to? Are you even sure that you’re going to like me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What if I told you that I was starting to like you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dumbfounded, he could only stare at Juza in disbelief. “No… you’re lying.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m not. I like you, Settsu. Do you want to go out with me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn’t expect it’d be like that. It wasn’t as sappy as any scene he could think of from Muku’s shoujo manga collection, but he felt like one of the main characters there. Surprisingly, those words could nearly bring him into tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You already know the answer, idiot. Why would you ask that?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I just wanted to make sure if you’re still on board with it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Banri could only let out a laugh. He had never felt so much like that towards someone before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re so stupid,” he said, before being pulled into a kiss.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was all real between them, wasn’t it?</p><p>He wasn’t dreaming—he never was. The way their fingers wrapped around each other, the warmth in his lips as they touched, the sound of his breathing against his skin, the tone of his voice when he said his name when it was just the two of them and no one else was around, and every moment with him that he could savor from his memories were real.</p><p>He realized that he loved him.</p><p>He loved him endearingly, deeply, but he was afraid that Juza wouldn’t be able to understand. He was terrified that it was all one-sided, just like how his paranoia emerged at the beginning of their relationship all over again.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>This time, he couldn’t hold his tears away again, sobbing under the convenience store lights while trying to breathe.</p><p>*</p><p>Many hours had passed and Banri still hadn’t reached the dorms yet.</p><p>He should have been back soon, yet Juza wouldn’t know because Banri didn’t even bring his phone—he tried to call him several times but once he heard a familiar ringtone upon Banri’s desk, it was all done for. All he could do was to stay awake, to make sure Banri was okay.</p><p>That was his plan; it went on for the first ten minutes until he laid upon the carpet on his floor room and fell asleep.</p><p>When Banri arrived back at the dorm, the lights were still out. He sighed in relief, slowly going up the stairs creeping back onto his room. Just when he opened the door to his room, it made a slightly awkward screeching sound, awakening Juza from his brief slumber.</p><p>Once the door was closed, they were only staring at each other for a while.</p><p>“… you haven’t slept?”</p><p>“You’re insane.”</p><p>Hearing that, Banri immediately spat back. “I’m insane?”</p><p>“Where the fuck have you been?” Juza was so close to yelling, but he was able to keep his voice down. “I thought you would actually go away from here, what were you thinking?”</p><p>Banri’s reply almost sounded like a muttering. “Why would you even care about me?”</p><p>“You’re my boyfriend, idiot.”</p><p>“You’re my boyfriend because you feel compelled to.”</p><p>“I don’t feel compelled to date you, Settsu. You know that,” Juza stated, wondering why he had to get through the same shit all over again. “I was the one who asked you to be my boyfriend. You weren’t even asking me to do that, right?”</p><p>“But you wouldn’t even want to be my boyfriend if you hadn’t known about my feelings for you!”</p><p>“Well, regardless of your feelings, eventually I like you! Isn’t that what matters now?”</p><p>“You can’t even deny what I said, right? You can’t do anything about it. That’s just how it goes. If you didn’t know that I like you, you never even wanted to be with me!”</p><p>Juza was getting even more upset and slowly overridden by guilt. He questioned himself what he had done wrong; he tried but was it not enough for Banri? Would that moment eventually become their downfall?</p><p>“Why do you have to make a huge deal out of this right now, Settsu? What matters more is that I’m with you now!”</p><p>“How could I <em>not </em>make a huge deal out of it?!” Banri yelled, not holding back his resentment anymore. “You’re gaining more popularity, Hyodo! All the girls are getting the hots for you! All the girls are flocking around you! I’m sure that you’d end up with one of them if you hadn’t been with me! You were normal before you started going out with me! You could still have a chance with them, and I can never win from them, Hyodo! I never will!”</p><p>At that second, Banri was still panting after taking out everything that he had kept within his head those past few days. He didn’t care if someone would barge—he had already said what he wanted to say. He just needed to hear what Juza might say about that.</p><p>“… Funny. I should have been the one thinking that.”</p><p>“And why is that?!”</p><p>“I have been feeling what you’re feeling right now from the time we decided to get together,” Juza retorted. “Even from way back when until now, all those girls are still taking a like to you. Moreover, with you having this modelling gig going on, with plentiful of job offers left and right. How would I not get insecure? I thought you could go away from at any time with some girl who’d suit to be with you more out of the blue. I would never think that you’d want to be with me this far.”</p><p>Banri shook his head slowly, laughing to himself. “I have liked you longer than you liking me, dumbass… I can’t see anyone else the same way ever since I got to know you. And you think that I wouldn’t want to be with you this long enough? Fuck, I have liked you from the moment I laid my eyes on you, you son of a bitch.”</p><p>This time, Juza wasn’t able to respond him as immediately. He realized that he had taken Banri’s feelings and treatment towards him for granted.</p><p>“Well… I didn’t know that,” he admitted. “Well, what do I even know… I was too big of a fool to even understand your feelings for me. Still, I want to stay with you.”</p><p>“… Are you sure you still want to be with me even though you know how much of a dick I can become?” Banri asked, nearly cynical to the tone. “I just doubted you, Hyodo. I often lash out at you for no particular reason. Are you even willing to be with someone like me?”</p><p>“I still want to be with you. I don’t want to be with anyone else, no matter how good they can be.</p><p>I love you.”</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>“You’re an idiot.”</p><p>Once again, Banri let his tears running through his cheeks. He sobbed loudly, covering his face with his fingers before he felt a calming embrace upon him. Juza was the one approaching, attempting to appease him. Banri tightly hugged him back and they stayed like that for a while until Juza was able to wipe away his tears.</p><p>He looked at him again, and he had the most captivating look on his face which made him fall for him more.</p><p>“Don’t you love me?”</p><p>“… yeah.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, what was that?”</p><p>“L’ve y’too.”</p><p>“I can’t hear you, you have to say it clearly.”</p><p>“Fine, I love you too. Happy?”</p><p>He was more than happy; he was extremely blissful. He responded him with a kiss, more loving and tender as they spent the night together in a newfound chapter of their love story, hopefully towards a happy ending they have always dreamed.</p><p>
  <strong>fin.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this whole story is inspired by my chat messages with one of my close friends a long time ago. i'm glad that i was able to write this down. we have so many ideas in store from our conversations and hopefully i can get to it when i have the time!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>